a few Fridays ago I went to hear a friend play at a hall in Maspeth

it was a cool, crisp night.

beautiful, starry night sky, a sea of lights zipping by

as I drove to the venue on the 495

big warehouses

industrial buildings

graffiti artisan murals

colorful signs to let any visitor know that

the terrain might be new…

but there was an entire culture that was breathing, moving, and 

thriving in this part of the city.

as I was taking in the sights around me in this industrial area,

I happened onto a couple carrying two sleeping children into their home.

the next thought that I had was as random as seeing couple carrying two sleeping children into a home

smack in the middle of industrial buildings…

together.

those two people, in that cold, crisp night air

shared a silent, meaningful task

of carrying sleeping children into the house

it was like a shot that rang out of nowhere

BAM!

and immediately I thought of how many nights I had to wake my own children up to walk into the house

themselves

from the recesses of my mind, I thought,

there’s no “together” for me presently.

and for a second,

i was reminded how tiny, a-p-a-r-t can make anyone feel.

we are big people.

big lives

big personalities

big careers

big education

…

but as big as our lives are,

there are tiny moments that humble us

to realities of a big world 

that can, at times,

feel too far apart.

you know the feeling…

of missing someone

who might be far away

but you hesitate to call

for fear of being reminded

that you are a-p-a-r-t from their lives

in ways your heart cannot comprehend…

you KNOW what it’s like to wait patiently for that call

and IF it happens, it can literally take your breath away…

but if it doesn’t, it can potentially be that consistent reminder of how far a-p-a-r-t you really are from the on

purpose, intentional kinetic energy received when together.

that night, i was reminded from those two individuals

that life can sometimes cause us to feel strewn about.

pieces of us left in the hearts of lovers past

Christmases with Bob

Valentine’s plans with Sam

Movie dates with Roger

and weekend getaways with Jim

(fictional people and circumstances people, RELAX)

pieces of events, stuck in time

seemingly long forgotten.

yet, subconsciously present in moments that 

cause us to deeply reflect 

or to visualize images that mirror those unspoken

memories.

driving past shared places

watching shared movies

listening to shared songs

>insert hand on head emoji<

hahaha.

in this season,

we’ve got to consciously work towards replacing 

these vivid memories

with purposeful, happy memories while a-p-a-r-t

and while experiencing new encounters

and creating new memories that replace or overshadow the old ones,

the old memories will begin to hold less significance.

longest story short,

whether you’re a-p-a-r-t or together,

find a way to actively pursue meaningful encounters.

Robert Glasper put it:

“'Cause I've learned in this life \ You gotta be with someone you like”…

I’d venture to say that YOU’VE GOT TO BE SOMEONE YOU LIKE!!

so plan that weekend trip with a friend

enjoy the time you have on that hour long FaceTime call

breath deeply and linger a bit longer in your lover’s embrace

laugh deeply at the back of the cereal box with your kids

forget about what’s no longer present

and

live.