everywhere you look…

love is advertised as two lovers:

totally compatible, gazing into the eyes of the other…starry.

long embraces, no goodbyes, easy conversations about EVERYTHING.

haha.

but what they don’t tell you about love is the revolutionary unearthing of everything you’ve ever preconceived about it.

the grit, the sweat-equity, the selflessness, the earthquakes that break apart the fundamental beliefs that you conceived about love in your mind.

It’s kind of like applying for a job, one position, and quickly learning that you have to learn the roles and tasks of the other members in your office…AT ONCE.

scary? Naw. Intimidating? Yup. Word up.

then comes the time of plausible deniability.

do I admit that I’m in over my head? accept “defeat by love”?

WOW, imagine what that would look like on a tombstone…

“defeated by love” RIP…

yet, there’s something soul-shaking that inspires us to keep on trying; to keep believing.

WAIT, is that it?

is love in the believing? the continuous effort?

or is love in the defeat, the retreat?

does it have to overwhelm you and knock you out in order for you to understand its strength?

is love an ocean? if so, there’s only so deep that you can go, PJ Morton.

is love in wanting? Marvin said, “I want you to want me too”…

is love admitting that you know nothing about it?

Are you learning from the person that you’re giving it away to?

So, it’s more than a feeling? More than a task? More than a moment?

Is that why it hurts so bad after you give it away and it doesn’t come back?

Or is it love when you give it and don’t care if it comes back?

I don’t know.

And I’m glad to NOT know, yet be open to whatever and whoever and I decide for it to be with.

That’s the fluidity OF love.

Believing still.

Giving still.

Holding on still.

Rediscovering…working through grit.

Tenacious love.

Unearthing, dirty love.

Hosea love.

broken and marred in the Potter’s hand love.

yep.

i still want it.

i always will.